Having twins, triplets or more is a wonderful but exhausting experience.
For the first year you may feel like you are lurching from one day of feeding, changing, winding, and more nappy changing to the next. The only way to make sense of the chaos is to organise yourself. Try and establish a routine quickly and stick to it.
Recognise that caring for multiples takes up a lot of energy. If one parent is at home and the other goes out to earn a living, remember you are both “working.” Neither parent should be expected to deal with the nights alone.
Helpful tips to remember :
- Don’t let crying get to you: take time out if needs be. When you go back to the babies after a few moments, they may have stopped or cried themselves to sleep.
- Get as much rest as you can, if the children are napping, grab some sleep too. Don’t be tempted to use this time to catch up on household chores – the first batteries which need recharging are yours so take advantage and don’t feel guilty.
- Accept any offers of help – don’t take it all on yourself. Lots of people will want to help you but most won’t want to force themselves upon you. If someone has offered help do not be shy of calling for it when you need it.
- In the first couple of weeks, save yourself the hassle of getting to the clinic and ask the health visitor to come to you.
Find out about local twins clubs. It’s great to go somewhere you can relax and not be the centre of attention because you have multiples. Whilst the attention is quite nice at times, it’s also really good to feel part of the crowd rather than the exception. Your local twins club will also have a wealth of information, advice and often, lifelong friends.
- Remember what your answerphone is for and keep it switched on at all times when you really don’t want to be interrupted – while you are feeding, changing or bathing the babies, or taking a well-earned rest. Relegate housework to the bottom of your priorities.
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Keep chores to a minimum – and don’t feel bad about it. Don’t try and be superwoman with an immaculate house, happy contented babies and roses at the door.
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Keep your buggy and changing bag somewhere easily accessible. Don’t worry about tidying them away.
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Try to keep a supply of nappies, wipes and cotton wool upstairs and downstairs.
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Never compare your babies to each other or to the children of other mothers you know. Every baby is different, even those born on the same day. Whatever you do, don’t compare your ability to cope with other mums – they have no idea. But if they have a second baby, reality dawns.
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Don’t feel guilty if all gets too much for you sometimes. There will be times when you cry with exhaustion, but remember, there’s nothing better than having all those arms cuddling you at the same time. If you can get through the first year, you can get through anything. It really does get easier and when you see two contented toddlers babbling away to each other, you know it was all worth it.
Enjoy your babies, savour every moment, take strength from when you get through a bad day, or even a bad hour, because it goes by so quickly.
The Twinsclub Forums are here to help you, so log on, get involved. Some days you’ll need to offload, other days you may be able to empathise and feel empowered by this new found status. There’s no doubt about it, parenting multiples is sometimes a struggle. But if you reach the end of the day and need any further reassurance about how you’re doing, take a peek at your babies sleeping – it’s the only reminder you’ll ever need.