Ina May Gaskin “Spiritual Midwifery”
I first came across the term when I had my twins. It was an American “thing”, something between a midwife and a birth companion. It sounded like a good idea but was quickly forgotten as I juggled breastfeeds, bonding and chores. I was overwhelmed with a sense of abundance and surprised myself as I could cope so well. There were times however when I would have really liked to have been three mothers so I could maintain my relationship with my old one just as it had been; bond with each of the tiny ones just as much as I had bonded with the old one when it was just one baby and I. Several years later I find that the Doula phenomenon is in fact quite widespread in the UK with regional variations of more discreet, less medical-oriented but equally effective support for the new mother and her family.
A Birth Doula is your advocate when you are faced with the medical profession. She will discuss with you your dreams and aspirations. She will help you feel in control of your body and your choices; she might ask pertinent questions in a non-confrontational manner and receive comprehensive answers regarding symptoms, proceedings and protocols. You might want her to be your companion and encouragement; or you might want her to become your brains for the short time when all you need is to become one with the creative force that brings tiny humans into the world. Whatever your needs, she will aim to provide you with a safe, comfortable bubble wherein you will feel at ease.
Post-natally the Doula will provide the mother with the peace, time and space she needs in order to evolve new family dynamics. This will depend on individual needs; you may need someone to offer practical support in terms of light housework, grocery shopping or older sibling amusing so you can bond with your new baby; you may need someone to help with baby so you can nurture and secure feelings of any older siblings; or perhaps just a listening ear who will not judge or advise. A mother may feel isolated at home. She may feel too tired to socialise and too timid to ask for help. The doula will be there for as long as she is needed in order for the mother to regain control. As time passes mother and baby weave into each other and effectively juggle their needs. The entry of a new baby into the world is a life-changing experience even when, as a mother, you may feel more confident second time round. As every birth is unique, every child is unique and the impact s/he will have on your family will be totally new as s/he will elicit novel responses from each family member. Your |Doula will work with you and evolve her role alongside your growing family until you feel you have jelled in a space of peace.
I trained as a Doula in March 2011 with Nurturing Birth. My Website is www.in-the-beginning.co.uk
For more information on Doulas visit www.doula.org.uk
By Eugenia Raptis