Twin Mum diary

Hello everyone, my name is Lynda McLauchlan, (Lynda McL), I am married to Big D (Donald). We are both Edinburgh born and bred, but now languishing in sunny Livingston, about 20 miles out in the sticks..We have 4 children, Lukey Mclookey 5, Christy Malisty 4, Hannah Banana and Lauren Orange 17 months, not forgetting Sophie the neglected whippet !! I work one shift per week as a nurse in a high dependency unit and D is general manager of a hotel in Edinburgh.

Saturday Have been up all night wiping spit and cleaning bottoms, no-one is ill...I've just finished a 12 til 5 night shift !! I go up to see my brother who was admitted to psychiatry yesterday, he is very depressed, following a change in his medication. He is very dopey but I still manage to make him smile and we have a cuddle and a kiss. I get home at 8.45am, loud snorting noises coming from the bedroom, suggest that Big D is still asleep !! Luke and Christy are at Nana's having a sleepover and it is still all quiet from the cheeky girls. I get into bed to find the dog stretched out on my side. D wakes and says "cuddle up and get a heat", we assume spoon positions...then he farts on me ! I kick him out of bed, as I can hear the mischief makers are awake. I plug my ears with cotton wool and barricade myself into the bedroom.

Wake up at 1pm, D is getting ready for work, he starts at 3pm and probably not home til 3am ! My dad is going to lay a new floor for me in my bathroom, so I am going to my mum's with the girls. Read the instructions, only to find out I was supposed to prime the floor first, bloody hell !! Load up the car and head off on the 10 min car journey. I am cursing because I had no ironed t-shirts left, the sun has come out and I am sweltering in a long sleeved shirt and moleskin trousers..Scotland, in case you didn't realise is not famed for it's tropical climate! Stay at Mum's for tea, grisly roast, which no-one eats. Head off at 6.30pm Asda on route as Luke and Christy have a party tomorrow and we need a pressie. Home 7.30, put girls to bed, more dirty nappies, teething ? I need my own personal land fill site.. L tries to watch a prog on telly with me, but the first 5 mins include b***er and B****rd, so it's off to bed with him ! I watch Parky and think what an exciting life I lead !!

Sunday Hear D off to work 7am, me..I don't surface until 9am and all 4 kids now awake. Breakfast sees H+L wearing their minibix, so it's baths for all 4. Ironed the party gear for L+C, girls down for a nap. L+C off to party at 12 and I carry on ironing. My mum and dad appear, they have been visiting my brother, he is a bit more chatty today. 1pm get the girls up, make lunch, then try to blitz the house, washing, hoovering etc. H+L have discovered they can roll back the living room rug and infuriatingly keep on doing it !! When Ii tell them NO, they just give a wicked grin and carry on regardless. I reckon I must be the invisible woman, 'cos no-one ever listens to me !!

L+C back from party, hyper from a sugar overdose no doubt. I put up the new curtains I bought for the girls room, whilst H+L play at locking each other in the toy cupboard. L thinks it is uproariously funny and nearly vomits she is laughing so much, whereas H can't see the funny side when it is her turn.. C eggs them on.. Time for dinner, D phones to say he will bring home a chinese meal . Kids are out playing in the street with their friends. More baths are H+L are filthy, we do a bit of dancing/marching as we wait for the water to run. I look outside to see the entire contents of our garage on the front grass, tied together with skipping ropes- a gang hut apparently ! Everyone in bed by 8pm. School and nursery clothes laid out, shoes polished, more ironing then bed.

Monday Alarm rings, 7.15am, into shower. shout at L+C to get up. Breakfast and H+L awake too. I supervise the washing and dressing and L+C out the door with dad at 8.40am. H is point blank refusing to eat, but L tucks in. More dirty nappies, phew...the house smells like a stables..Get H+L sorted, which closely resembles a Benny Hill sketch, as I race around like a madmum, trying to catch them, amidst much shrieking, them ..not me...Manage to hoover, kind of dodgems really as I try vainly to avoid H driving a Teenage mutant turtle truck and Lauren who is command of an action man tank. Nap at 10am as H is screaming blue murder. They both have snotty noses today and L is barking like a seal. 10.40am and H is still crying, so I lift her and end up having to pee with her on my lap as she is hysterical when I put her down!

11am off to collect C from nursery and pop into shops for some groceries. Sandwiches for lunch, tidy up , then in the nipper for 20 min walk to school. Back at 3pm. make stew for dinner and arrange to meet Wendy (wb) for lunch. Do Luke's homework and notice that the toilet is leaking, it's the one getting the new floor..arghh. Kids out to play again. Read billy goats gruff to H+L, which they enjoy. 8pm all quiet, D home at 9.15, early bed for me...zzzz

Tuesday Alarm as usual jangles me from my slumber, very civilised breakfast with everyone eating quietly, instead of annoying each other! Find H+L bleary eyed with faces covered in snotters, so the toddler group is out today. H refuses all offers of cereal, toast, biscuit. End up comforting her until it's time to collect C, of course the fact that L keeps hitting her with cups etc, doesn't help.. Get C and have an early lunch and C goes out to play with her boyfriend who lives next door. I can hear them playing mums and dads, lots of darling this and darling that, Christy is speaking in an amusing american accent. Too many Disney dvds me thinks...Neither H or L will stop screaming and as I am now feeling like joining in, I decide to head off early to school, see if the fresh air and motion will settle them. We go to the park first and I show off by going along the cargo net and almost lose face by getting my bum stuck down the chute. I used to have a very small pert derriere....pre-children.

Off to school, have a nice blether with some other mums. Home at 3pm. Help Luke with his homework, prepare chicken casserole for dinner and then put H and L down for a nap. L and C promise to try and be quiet to let me put my feet up for an hour or so as I'm nightshift again tonight, but to no avail.......I give up 45 minutes later and do some washing instead. Big D in at 6.15pm, and I dash into shower to get ready for work. out of the house at 7.15pm to start at 7.30pm. Yet another busy shift.......see you in the morning.

Wednesday Yawn, yawn, yawn.........home at 8.15am.........what a night! I volunteered to run the Surgical Admissions Unit and never stopped all night. 5 patients when I started, sent one home, moved one to another ward......then admitted another 5!....and staffed only by yours truly. By 4.30am I was losing all co-ordination, up nearly 24 hours and no sleep! Got my second wind though. Anyway, I stay up until 9.30am to let D take L and C on the school run. Into bed and I sleep fitfully until around 1.45pm. Nice and sunny, D goes off to get L from school and C from Nana's house where she's been having lunch. We go out into the back garden and immediately H and L start to fight over Christy's playhouse, slamming the door in each others faces. I hope this is not the shape of things to come! I decide to shovel some decorative stones to fill in the holes the gazebo left when it was ripped out. I then progress onto weeding............jeeze..........the sweat is lashing off me. Lauren decides to help with her own bucket, spade and stones, sitting in a pile of earth........she's happy! Hannah however, just wants cuddles, my poor wee darling........she's so miserable.

Take Hannah up for a nap but Lauren shows no signs of tiring so keep her outside. Big D arrives home and all kids are now helping me, including Christy's boyfriend from next door, Owen. It's at this point I realise, much to my embarassment, that I'm still in my pyjamas, wobbly boobies and all........hope my neighbour hasn't been nosing out of his window. Big D makes pasta for tea.......hooray.........hannah actually eats!!.....in fact she is making satisfactory smacking noises. After tea, everyone plays outside some more........Luke is now crying....hit in the face with a sword. I want to mow the grass but Big D says 'no', I'm not allowed, apparently he's putting his foot down.......so I do some ironing instead! Log onto Twinsclub while Big D watches speedway on the tv, I can feel myself starting to flag.......so seeya tomorrow, i'm meeting Wendy (wb) for lunch.

Thursday Jump out of bed, argh ! it's 7.40am, I've slept in. A hurried or should I say harried breakfast !, toss some stuff into Luke's packed lunch box and shoo L+C out of the door. A pea souper again today, try to coax L+C into the car, they are more interested in examining the huge cobwebs in the bushes, it looks like the Adam's Family residence ..Do the usual chores before picking up C and heading off to the local Brewers Fayre, to meet Wendy with Paige and Jamie, for lunch. Have a really nice time, the sun is out now and it's hot. Paige and Jamie are very well behaved, unlike H+L who are quite screechy.

Back down the road at 2pm and then it's off to school in the Nipper. We get ice lollies on the way home and back out into the garden to play. I DO cut the grass and C helps me out. As quick as she empties out the grass box, wee L is putting it back in ! Make an early tea ,as Luke has his gymnastics club. Out the house at 5.45pm and drop off the boy and then zoom home again ! I frantically tidy up dishes like a woman possessed and turn round to see H emptying out the dog's water bowl over the kitchen floor, it's like the Titanic, as I use every available dish towel and try to stop her sitting down in it ....In the car again 6.45pm to get L. As I am waiting, I realise that one of the coaches was in my class at school and he used to try and grope me in the technical cupboard !! He throws me a glance..oh no...he'll be mortified if he twigs, but then he was reaally sleazy at school ! Once home, give the kids some toast and do L's homework.Read some stories in silly voices, which the kids love. I do a very convincing Miss Hoolie, you know ! Big D not home 'til laate, so I watch some Tv.

Friday Groundhog day dawns, another misty, murky one. Hope it lifts, as D is sponsoring the Edinburgh Monarchs speedway meeting tonight at Armadale. It means we get to watch the meet from the hospitality lounge, free food and drink...L+C are going, plus neighbours, colleagues and friends, should be great. Anyway, once eldest 2 are off, I crack on with painting primer on to my bathroom floor. Once I have collected L+C ( half day at school on Fri), we head straight down to the shopping centre, to buy another birthday pressie. Financially crippled I am by 6 yr olds !! We go to Mcd's for lunch and I get the usual stares as I do when I am on my own with the 4 of them. Poo to them...they should be as lucky as me !! Spend at least 30mins discussing the relative merits of Turtles/Power Rangers/Spiderman.

Get some new jeans for the Lukester and velour joggers for me. Meet Elaine a friend from work, who has a boy/girl pair who are exactly one week younger than mine. On the way home I stop in at my charge nurse's house, in the next street. Her little boy is very unwell in intensive care at the moment, so I put a note through her door, offering help. Tea-time, h not eating again. Mum and dad arrive 6pm.she is babysitting and he is coming to the speedway. Leave my mum with H+L draped all over her..they love their Nana ! Still misty, but at least not too cold. Speedway was good and watched a few races from the centre green which is really exciting. Champagne is on the go, but I am driving so only have 2 sips...boo hoo !! catch up with some old friends, which is nice. One of the riders offers L a ride on his bike, which L is thrilled with...me less so !! Rain started, so meeting is abandoned 2 races from the end. Drive home, it's 10pm. Within about 10 mins they are all sleeping like angels, just beautiful. I sit down and write the last bit of the diary. Well, that's kind of a typical week with the McLauchlan clan and if you are still awake ...well done.....and thanks for reading !!!!!

Back to home page

What was your week like ?

Email your diary here - Please include a photo of your darlings if you can.

All material contained within this website is Copyright © 2000-2005 , unless stated otherwise or implied. All rights reserved.
Page last updated: 29-Jan-2008

Email Spam/Virus Warning
As a general rule, never open email attachments that have originated from unknown sources or that were not expected.
Twinsclub will not send emails with attachments to you, unless you have requested them.